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Mastering the Adorable Pathetic

In the book, Deep Attraction Online, the author introduces his idea of the “adorable pathetic.” Women are often pathetic at some things at which we excel (reading maps, linear conversation) and we are often pathetic at things at which women excel (reading emotions, bonding).

In comedy, as in drama, our ability to baffle each other with our pathetic incompetencies gives lots of juice. in relationships, it causes lots of intolerance, impatience and fights.

If you want to stand out among men, be the man who, rather than criticizes women for having different strengths and weaknesses, ADORE them for all of it. I ask women to adore their men for what they happen to be pathetic at and I ask you do to the same for your woman.

We’re built differently. Our neural structures are physiologically different. So rather than being angry that a woman is not “more like a man,” show your adoration for how much she is like a woman!

I hate shopping. I do, what I always call “man shopping.” That means, the faster I can get out of a store, the happier I am.

To the feminine, that is missing the whole point of life! that is missing sifting through the colors and textures that the world has to offer. That is missing drifting in the cornucopia of beauty that well-stocked clothing store offers. Have you ever considered that a woman entering something that seems as mundane as a department store is entering a dreamscape of hue and plush, of touch and smell? In other words, her sensual enjoyment of it all is exactly the same love of sensual immersion that she brings to the bedroom. It is a sensual awakedness.

Now do you resent it? Celebrate her love of color and touch. It’s actually one of the main reasons you want her in your life.

This article adds another source of adoration (and of course, teasing, mixed with adoration) — this professor says that the urge to shop grows from the same instinct to protect, feed and nurture those she loves. Have a read, and next time you are dragged through Nieman, let her know that you know that she is enacting an ancient ritual that, in some distant way, not only speaks her sensual core, but also her care for you, and if you have them, kids.

This demonstrates your appreciation of her (always a good thing) as well as some deeper knowledge of herself than she might have (authority, competence, insight — essential masculine attractors.)

Two ways to handle this:

You can express this deep appreciation of her at the door of the department store and spend the next hour in Gamestop while she shops. It’s the appreciation that’s important. Not the trailing after her in misery.

Or… you can turn shopping into a sensual “date.” You can slowly draw cashmere across her neck. You can nibble on her wrists as she experiments with perfumes. And don’t get me started about what you can in dressing rooms.

Either way, a victory for all.

Happy shopping.

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About Philippe Matthews

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